There was a time in my life when I was prideful, addicted, and living for myself. But God, in his mercy, has changed my life and is using my story for his glory.
Growing up in a broken and divided home, I found myself unsatisfied in the in-between of my Muslim father and my Pentecostal mother and their differing cultures, religions, and races. I never felt “enough” with my weekends spent either in a church or a mosque. This division led to my later estrangement from my father.
I made some poor decisions in high school, and when I went to college, I went all in on pursuing the things of this world. This continued into my young professional life, where alcohol, cocaine, and cigarettes became addictions. I convinced myself I had everything under control, so I lived that way for a long time.
When I started coming to The Porch at Watermark, I was so moved by the transparency and authenticity of the teaching that I kept coming back. I’d never experienced that kind of honesty from someone teaching at a church. I kept going while still deep in my addictions, rationalizing the way I was living because “at least I was going to church”. I wasn’t fully surrendered to the Lord, but God wouldn’t let me stay there.
Every now and then, I would try to “get on the straight and narrow,” but it never worked. I held onto my sin, continued living for myself, and chased success because it felt safe. I thought I’d never get married or have kids because those weren’t areas of life I could safely control.
As I became more involved with Watermark, God began to chip away at my sin and pride. He used his Word, biblical teaching, and the people around me to change my heart and teach me what it looked like to follow him. I learned that I am saved by grace, through faith, and that salvation isn’t something I have to earn or be perfect in order to receive.
God transformed my heart in many ways, including the desire and strength to forgive my father. He had been ill and passed away after my husband and I got married. My dad took so much pride in his work and money—the things I was also chasing—but when he died, he was alone with brokenness all around him. I did not want to be like that.
Soon after, I felt the Lord calling me out of the corporate world into the nonprofit space. I started working at a maternity home, helping women who were pregnant, homeless, and sometimes battling addiction. I loved working with women who were making choices to get better and care for their children. Their stories were profound for me, especially because of my own history with addiction. The Lord used that role to change my heart, give me a desire to become a mother, and prepare me for motherhood.
I once again saw God’s care for me through his people as they supported me through postpartum depression and anxiety after I had my twins, Lowen and Luca. My community group encouraged me to seek counseling, which God used to further healing in my life.
As I came out of that season, I was running some side businesses and thought I was finally ready to leave my job and do my own thing. God had a different plan.
I applied for a job at Watermark Community Development Corporation. I’ve been a part of Watermark for years, but didn’t know much about Watermark CDC. The job combined three things I cared deeply about: Watermark, entrepreneurship, and faith. I thought it was too good to be true.
Through Watermark CDC, we walk alongside entrepreneurs personally and professionally, helping them build healthy businesses while encouraging them to follow Jesus in every area of their lives and make disciples.
Taking the job meant letting go of what I thought my next chapter would look like. I can look back and see how God had been preparing me for this role through completely different jobs and life circumstances. Even things from my past that I once thought disqualified me have allowed me to connect with people in ways I never expected.
One of the things that I love most is seeing answered prayers. Recently, we were preparing a program for business owners, and I really wanted two coaches for every owner—something we had never done before. We prayed for it specifically, and when we put together the applications and volunteer lists, we had the exact number we needed.
Things like that might seem little to someone else, but to me, it felt like the Lord saying, “Hey, I’m in it with you. Just keep going.”
Looking back on my life, I see God’s faithfulness in everything. Now, my constant prayer is, God, just let me get out of your way. You prepared me, and you called me to this. What do you want me to do today?
God has done so much in 15 years. The things I once thought I had to hide, overcome, or figure out on my own are now parts of my story that God has redeemed and is using. I also get to see him do that in the lives of other people.
That’s what I love about Watermark CDC. We get to remind people that their circumstances don’t have to define their future, and that God can use the things they thought disqualified them for something greater.
Giving to Watermark CDC helps individuals pursue lasting financial stability through mentorship and practical support. On North Texas Giving Day, September 17, every dollar given will be matched up to $200,000, doubling the impact.