There was a time in my life when I felt I was past the point of redemption, but God met me with love, grace, and forgiveness, and now I testify that no one is too far gone for God to save them.
I grew up in a loving and godly household, and my parents faithfully shared Jesus with me from a young age. I accepted Jesus as my Lord and Savior at five years old, but I didn’t fully understand what it looked like to live out my faith. I wanted to please God by following his rules, but I didn’t spend time with God to understand his heart. I loved obeying God’s Word and following his moral law for what was right and wrong, but I was more in love with obeying God than knowing him.
I was slowly introduced to the brokenness of this world through non-Christian peers. They were doing things I knew were wrong, like cussing, underage drinking, making crude jokes, and having inappropriate relationships with girls, and my immediate response was judgment. Instead of meeting them with compassion and sharing the gospel with them the way Jesus would, I thought: All these people are going to hell.
Throughout middle and high school, I sought to maintain the reputation of a good Christian guy. I never missed a church camp, mission trip, or Sunday service and tried to avoid becoming like my peers, but as I moved into my senior year of high school, that began to change.
The more ingrained I became in varsity sports, the more my teammates made fun of me for not doing the sinful things they did. This made me think about why I was avoiding their sinful lifestyle in the first place. I realized I was trying to do the right things out of an effort to make other people happy and live a perfect life. Only I knew I wasn’t perfect, nor would I ever be, so what was the point in trying?
I began spending more time with those teammates and started underage drinking, cussing, indulging in pornography, having an unhealthy relationship with a girl, and giving in to the desires of the world.
These things seemed fun for a little while, but I was numb, broken, empty, and dissatisfied. I felt like a hypocrite—I had become the person I used to judge habitually.
Since my foundation of faith was on doing the right things for God instead of enjoying a right relationship with God, and I knew my sinful lifestyle was wrong, I thought I was past the point of redemption. I felt like I was too far from God to come back.
Throughout this time, I was still involved with my church, and I’m so thankful I was, because you can only hide your sin for so long when you’re surrounded by faithful followers of Jesus who love you enough to call you out.
I had two faithful leaders in my church’s high school ministry whom I really respected, and when they noticed the sinful habits and heart posture I was forming, they graciously confronted me. I broke down and confessed my sin. They reminded me that following Jesus wasn’t about trying to live a perfect life but trusting that Jesus lived the perfect life for me, paid for all the sins I committed on the cross, and rose again to call me not to live in sin any longer. Over the next two years, they walked me through how to know the heart of God and how to live with him, not just for him.
I gave up most of my sinful lifestyle, but pornography still had a hold on my life, and I felt deep conviction.
Every day, I prayed for God to remove this desire from my heart. I knew God could deliver me and never doubted he could. I took practical steps to avoid pornography and clung to James 1:5-6, which says, “If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him. But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind.”
After a year of prayer, God answered. I woke up one morning, and by God’s power alone, the desire was gone. Jesus delivered me from that sin, and I have never looked back. Through the rest of my time in college, I continued to grow in my faith alongside godly community through my church and college ministry.
As I was graduating, I had no idea what I wanted to do for work, but I knew that wherever I ended up, I wanted to find a local church to call home. When I got a job in Dallas, my friend invited me to join him at Watermark, and I became a member shortly after.
Over the last few years, God has grown my dependence on him. I was convicted to leave a work environment where I was asked to do unethical things, and that left me unemployed for months. I had to surrender a lot of control, and God grew my faith as he taught me to trust his plans and his timing.
God has redeemed so much of my story. As someone who used to judge people for their sinful lifestyles, to living in sin myself, to now helping other young adults find fullness of life in Christ at The Porch, I am living proof that Jesus is in the business of redeeming brokenness and bringing people from death to life.
You are never too far gone. I am far from perfect and continue to make mistakes, but Jesus has met me with love, grace, and forgiveness every time, and he wants to do the same for you.